Tuesday, March 5, 2013

On doing things myself.

I think the thing that has stressed me out the most throughout the planning process thus far is my lack of help, outside of my mom and a few other folks. I'll admit, I'm the worst at delegating tasks to people - and, for lack of a better term, I'm a bit anal about things being done a certain way.

Just the same as how I didn't think I could pull off the wedding of my dreams if it wasn't at Miss Gilmore's, I don't think I can pull it off if I don't do every single detail myself.
And that is where I'm wrong. I know I need to loosen the reins and just let people help me, but it seems that even when I mention that I need help, or I say, "hey, I need your opinion on this," I'm usually ignored. I don't like that feeling. Did I do something wrong? Am I already being a bridezilla to my friends and family? What am I doing wrong?

I make list after list of things that need to be done now, things that can wait until this summer; who can help with the DIY stuff, who can help setting up, etc. And I'm left wondering, do they even want to help? I have chosen the best bridesmaids (and bridesgaybff) in the world. They are the ones that I know are there for me through thick and thin. But with two living 3+ hours away, one who is either working or at school, and one who doesn't ever text me back... what am I supposed to do, other than assume that I am basically on my own?

I'm grateful for my friends, my family, and all those who I know will help when it comes down to the wire. But as for the past 10 months that I have been engaged, I'm feeling very alone in this whole process. And for someone who has never been involved in planning a wedding, I'm way in over my head and I don't know what to do.
Hashtag freaking out.

Here's where I say thank you to my mom for always letting me bounce ideas off of her, even when she probably doesn't have time to text back and forth. And even when she doesn't like my ideas.


  1. You poor thing. You need a hug and a cup of good coffee.

  2. Hey girl, you can always dish out your feelings and ideas on me even though I live 3x10 hours away. And if you ever think of coming to visit, I can guarantee a hug AND a damn fine cup of coffee.

  3. I snuck a peek at your blog after you posted a picture on Instagram, and when I was scrolling through, this caught my eye. I have been on both sides, and I understand so much of the stress that comes with it. I've been a bridesmaid to a friend in KC--while I was in grad school and working!--and felt like I had nothing to offer (SO frustrating!). But I was also that anal, control-freak bride who couldn't let myself delegate (and even felt bad asking people for help)--and every single one of my bridesmaids lived 3-10 hours away. Thankfully, my stepdad has 5 sisters, and 4 of them lived within 30 minutes of me! They (and my mom) were my saving grace.

    This one thing I am sure of: you aren't alone, and your friends DO want to help you. I promise. They may just not know how. Before I started planning a wedding, I had NO IDEA what went into it, because I never planned on doing it myself. So I didn't even know what to offer. I was super awkward. Now that I've been the one doing all the planning and freaking out, I would help a complete stranger with pretty much any wedding-related thing, ever. :)

    I know it's so easy to say, "don't freak out!".....but I definitely freaked out. And you will freak out, probably a few times. But anal people like us have great attention to detail, and that's how I know that you will be okay, and your wedding will be beautiful, and exactly what you want it to be.

    I'm no wedding expert AT ALL, but if you need help/advice/to vent/whatever, just shoot me an email. jessicae429 at gmail dot com. You've got this!