Because I'm no good at sticking to my goals.

Let's be real, I don't stick with things. I never have and if we're being completely honest, I probably never really will.

I have a hard time finishing books (I have a million next to my bed just begging to be finished).
I bought a super nice (read: expensive) journal to use during our 17-month engagement to document everything. We are now 14 months in, and I have only filled 10 pages.
I quit piano lessons after 5 years because I thought I'd start playing soccer. This isn't even a case of starting something and not sticking with it. I never even joined the soccer team! Truth be told, once I found out you have to run, like, 3 miles every day at practice, I said "oh, heck to the no."

So this is the problem I face every time I'm like, "Oh yeah, I'm gonna get FIT." Last time I said that, I went out and bought all new workout clothes, a new pair of running shoes (holy expensive, y'all), and a shiny, brand new gym membership.
Now, I wear the workout clothes like they're going out of style, and the running shoes have gotten me through two 5k's in the past two months. But the gym membership? Yeah, pretty sure I've only used that sucker twice.

I don't know what it is. Is it because I'm lazy? Is it because I'm tired more often than the average person my age? Is it because I just really don't like running on a treadmill when there's ten other people around me? I don't know, but I've really got to fix this little issue I'm running into (or, rather, slowly walking into. Because I'm definitely not running anywhere).

Tonight, while at my parents, I weighed myself.
It was one of those times where I literally held my breath while it was registering the pounds and when I looked down, I laughed and said out loud: "uh, no, let's try that again..."
So I stepped off, waited for a second, then got back on.

Same number.

I drove home in tears thinking, "how did I let this happen?"
To be clear with this, though, I am tall-ish. I'm close to 5'9" and for my height, my weight is considered healthy. But to me? I don't feel comfortable at this weight. And tonight I made a conscious decision to actually do something about it. If I have to force myself to get up earlier to go use the gym, then so be it. If I have to do legitimate grocery shopping just so I have a reason to cook at home more often, than by all means, I'll do it. But whatever unhealthy habits I've formed since moving out of my parents house? Yeah, those have got to go. At first it was kind of just a running joke that I needed to get in shape for the wedding and now it's more than that. It's about me feeling comfortable in my own skin, and about feeling and being healthy.

So, here we are. I'm putting this out there in an effort to gain accountability in some form.
And I'm also on Pinterest in the "health and fitness" section, and let me tell you - it's an embarrassing thing to admit. Ha!

Thanks for listening to such a pointless post. It really does help to write it all out.
- Haley