Blake makes music.

Photo by Elise

Blake and I are music lovers, through and through. 

But we have extremely different tastes in music. 

We have a few things we agree on, but it's very rare that we both agree on the music one of us chooses to listen to in the car (ah, the art of compromising has not been learned on my side of things just yet). 

Anyway. 

It's no secret that Blake loves music, but I'm not sure if any of you know that he actually makes music. Yeah, sure, he's in a band (buy their album! Or stream it on Spotify here), but in his minimal spare time, he likes to create the weirdest, creepiest stuff. Like, I'm not joking... I'm not a fan of this kind of stuff. It's like the soundtrack to nightmares (he'd probably take that as a compliment, though). I, personally, may not be into this music, but the truth is - kid is talented. 

Today, he put out a track to an EP he's been working on and it's available to listen to & download! Check it out, if you so wish. I'm pretty proud. :) 

Now, if only we can get him to make some happier music... 

Well.
I went to the gym last night.
Followed by a trip to Starbucks.

I skipped on my usual drink (um, I guess I'll be honest here... I usually get an iced venti cinnamon dolce latte. WITH whipped cream. It's like asking for 5 pounds to creep up on me!). Instead, I ordered an iced green tea (unsweetened makes it a zero calorie drink, duh!) and I spent the next hour going down every single aisle of the grocery store.
I ended up with a cart full of things like greek yogurt...and granola.... and rice chips.
You know, healthy things.
Well, I'm assuming these things are healthy.

Anywho: for accountability's sake, and since I posted such a weirdly honest blog on my health, I thought I'd share my adventure to the gym!

After originally setting my alarm to be at the gym by 9 am, then going to lunch and seeing a movie with Blake,  I found myself on the couch for 2 hours watching "How Do I Look" on the Style Network. That's when I was like, "oh, duh, you need to go the gym, stupidhead."
So, I got my cutesy workout clothes on (because, really, how are you supposed to feel motivated if you don't look cute? Right? ...Right?) and I headed out to the gym. I slowly made my way upstairs to where the treadmills are and put on my designated playlist for such an occasion and went to town.

Here's where I'll be really honest, because I really do feel the need to be honest about how this whole workout and be healthy thing is really hard for me:
I did a little over two miles in 30-ish minutes. I think I quit right around 35 minutes. I walked, I sure as heck did not run. But I felt like dying all the same.

At around 1.3 miles, I hit my wall, and immediately wanted to call it quits. You know, the wall that's all like, "I can't do this anymore, my legs are turning to jello, the old lady on the treadmill in front of me is walking faster than me, dear Lord help me." I hit THAT wall.
But then I remembered how my mom can run a 5K in nothing flat, how my mom can easily do an hour on the elliptical and hardly break a sweat (okay, I'm pretty sure I made that up, she might sweat a little bit), and how my mom now wears the same size as me (good job momma, proud of you!).
So I pushed through and kept going. When I hit the 2 mile mark, I was right in the middle of Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" so obvi I couldn't stop there, so I finished walking when the song was over. ;)

My gym also has an indoor track, so I then went on to do another mile-ish there (probably a little less, since I lost count of how many laps I did).

Oh! And I went home, watched the Bachelorette and did Pinterest workouts.
(Don't you dare act like you've never pinned some of those before!)

All in all, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself right now.
I'm still trying to balance it with everything I do in a week (every other week I work 12 hour work days 3 days a week!), but I'm sure I'll find that balance soon.
I'm also striving to make healthier decisions when eating, especially when eating out.

But Jesus, Lord Almighty, I'm gonna need some help when passing by Red Robin. Oh my stars.

This Week:

 A lot has happened in the past week!

1. My brother got married! Trevor and Amber have been together since they were in 8th grade (cue the "aww's") and they have been engaged since February '12. About a month ago, they decided they'd like to get married on their dating anniversary (June 6), so this whole "let's get married" thing was no real surprise to us. The surprise was that the night before the ceremony, they had no venue, no real concept of what they were doing, and had just secured a minister that day! It's so funny, though, because this totally represents them as a couple. They aren't the kind to make a lot of advance plans, and they just kinda do what they want to do. The fact that they were sitting at my parents brainstorming different places to get married the very next day totally makes sense. If only I were that free spirited... ;)

2. Breigh is home from the hospital, and not only that, she's up and going like an almost normal gal! I mean, she'll be out of real commission for a couple of months (also considering that she can't drive for the next 6 months), but we are so grateful for the improvements she's made since the seizures started. So happy!

3. Blake and I have been thrifting every so often for little decor items to put on the tables for our wedding. On a recent trip we decided to dig through the movies and cassette tapes, and I found Les Miserables on tape! And not only that, but it was the original London cast recording (Patti LuPone! Eee! I'm such a nerd...). I was so excited to listen to it that I took the long way home just to listen to it longer! It never fails, every time I listen to the music, I always want to go straight home and watch the movie.

4. Last night was the #tremma wedding! I'm so incredibly happy for Emma & Trey. I don't think I've ever been to a cooler wedding. I mean, really, they provided lemonades (and beer!) to drink during the ceremony, which was located out on a pond at their grandmother's cabin. The reception was full of yummy cocktails, amazing appetizers (holy, shrimp cocktails!), and the most amazing ice cream bar. Emma looked absolutely incredible in her dress (which was handmade!). I'd seen photos of her in it that morning on Instagram, but it was seriously nothing compared to seeing her in person!
I'm incredibly fortunate to work for both Emma & Elsie. They are truly inspiring ladies and I'm so honored that they have both allowed me (and Blake!) to be part of their special days! It makes me look forward to sharing mine with them!

How has your week been? I can't believe the weekend is already over (insert sadface here)!
xo Haley

Someone to vary my days

"Don't be afraid that it won't be perfect. The only thing to be afraid of is that it won't be." 

Someone to need you too much
Someone to know you too well
Someone to pull you up short, and put you through hell. 

Someone you have to let in
Someone whose feelings you spare
Someone who like it or not will want you to share 
a little, a lot. 

Someone to crowd you with love
Someone to force you to care
Someone to make you come through
Who'll always be there, as frightened as you
of being alive. 

Somebody, hold me too close
Somebody, hurt me too deep
Somebody, sit in my chair and ruin my sleep
and make me aware of being alive.

Somebody, need me too much
Somebody, know me too well
Somebody, pull me up short and put me through hell and give me support
for being alive. 
Make me alive. 




I'm feeling rather sentimental tonight, as my biggest little brother got married to his girlfriend of six years... I am overwhelmed with happiness for them. God has blessed my family way more than we could ever deserve.
The song lyrics from one of my very favorite musicals, Company. Here is an incredible performance of the song, if you have the time to give it a listen. Photo is from a friend's wedding last summer!

Because I'm no good at sticking to my goals.

Let's be real, I don't stick with things. I never have and if we're being completely honest, I probably never really will.

I have a hard time finishing books (I have a million next to my bed just begging to be finished).
I bought a super nice (read: expensive) journal to use during our 17-month engagement to document everything. We are now 14 months in, and I have only filled 10 pages.
I quit piano lessons after 5 years because I thought I'd start playing soccer. This isn't even a case of starting something and not sticking with it. I never even joined the soccer team! Truth be told, once I found out you have to run, like, 3 miles every day at practice, I said "oh, heck to the no."

So this is the problem I face every time I'm like, "Oh yeah, I'm gonna get FIT." Last time I said that, I went out and bought all new workout clothes, a new pair of running shoes (holy expensive, y'all), and a shiny, brand new gym membership.
Now, I wear the workout clothes like they're going out of style, and the running shoes have gotten me through two 5k's in the past two months. But the gym membership? Yeah, pretty sure I've only used that sucker twice.

I don't know what it is. Is it because I'm lazy? Is it because I'm tired more often than the average person my age? Is it because I just really don't like running on a treadmill when there's ten other people around me? I don't know, but I've really got to fix this little issue I'm running into (or, rather, slowly walking into. Because I'm definitely not running anywhere).

Tonight, while at my parents, I weighed myself.
It was one of those times where I literally held my breath while it was registering the pounds and when I looked down, I laughed and said out loud: "uh, no, let's try that again..."
So I stepped off, waited for a second, then got back on.

Same number.

I drove home in tears thinking, "how did I let this happen?"
To be clear with this, though, I am tall-ish. I'm close to 5'9" and for my height, my weight is considered healthy. But to me? I don't feel comfortable at this weight. And tonight I made a conscious decision to actually do something about it. If I have to force myself to get up earlier to go use the gym, then so be it. If I have to do legitimate grocery shopping just so I have a reason to cook at home more often, than by all means, I'll do it. But whatever unhealthy habits I've formed since moving out of my parents house? Yeah, those have got to go. At first it was kind of just a running joke that I needed to get in shape for the wedding and now it's more than that. It's about me feeling comfortable in my own skin, and about feeling and being healthy.

So, here we are. I'm putting this out there in an effort to gain accountability in some form.
And I'm also on Pinterest in the "health and fitness" section, and let me tell you - it's an embarrassing thing to admit. Ha!

Thanks for listening to such a pointless post. It really does help to write it all out.
- Haley