Blake makes music.

Photo by Elise

Blake and I are music lovers, through and through. 

But we have extremely different tastes in music. 

We have a few things we agree on, but it's very rare that we both agree on the music one of us chooses to listen to in the car (ah, the art of compromising has not been learned on my side of things just yet). 

Anyway. 

It's no secret that Blake loves music, but I'm not sure if any of you know that he actually makes music. Yeah, sure, he's in a band (buy their album! Or stream it on Spotify here), but in his minimal spare time, he likes to create the weirdest, creepiest stuff. Like, I'm not joking... I'm not a fan of this kind of stuff. It's like the soundtrack to nightmares (he'd probably take that as a compliment, though). I, personally, may not be into this music, but the truth is - kid is talented. 

Today, he put out a track to an EP he's been working on and it's available to listen to & download! Check it out, if you so wish. I'm pretty proud. :) 

Now, if only we can get him to make some happier music... 

Well.
I went to the gym last night.
Followed by a trip to Starbucks.

I skipped on my usual drink (um, I guess I'll be honest here... I usually get an iced venti cinnamon dolce latte. WITH whipped cream. It's like asking for 5 pounds to creep up on me!). Instead, I ordered an iced green tea (unsweetened makes it a zero calorie drink, duh!) and I spent the next hour going down every single aisle of the grocery store.
I ended up with a cart full of things like greek yogurt...and granola.... and rice chips.
You know, healthy things.
Well, I'm assuming these things are healthy.

Anywho: for accountability's sake, and since I posted such a weirdly honest blog on my health, I thought I'd share my adventure to the gym!

After originally setting my alarm to be at the gym by 9 am, then going to lunch and seeing a movie with Blake,  I found myself on the couch for 2 hours watching "How Do I Look" on the Style Network. That's when I was like, "oh, duh, you need to go the gym, stupidhead."
So, I got my cutesy workout clothes on (because, really, how are you supposed to feel motivated if you don't look cute? Right? ...Right?) and I headed out to the gym. I slowly made my way upstairs to where the treadmills are and put on my designated playlist for such an occasion and went to town.

Here's where I'll be really honest, because I really do feel the need to be honest about how this whole workout and be healthy thing is really hard for me:
I did a little over two miles in 30-ish minutes. I think I quit right around 35 minutes. I walked, I sure as heck did not run. But I felt like dying all the same.

At around 1.3 miles, I hit my wall, and immediately wanted to call it quits. You know, the wall that's all like, "I can't do this anymore, my legs are turning to jello, the old lady on the treadmill in front of me is walking faster than me, dear Lord help me." I hit THAT wall.
But then I remembered how my mom can run a 5K in nothing flat, how my mom can easily do an hour on the elliptical and hardly break a sweat (okay, I'm pretty sure I made that up, she might sweat a little bit), and how my mom now wears the same size as me (good job momma, proud of you!).
So I pushed through and kept going. When I hit the 2 mile mark, I was right in the middle of Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" so obvi I couldn't stop there, so I finished walking when the song was over. ;)

My gym also has an indoor track, so I then went on to do another mile-ish there (probably a little less, since I lost count of how many laps I did).

Oh! And I went home, watched the Bachelorette and did Pinterest workouts.
(Don't you dare act like you've never pinned some of those before!)

All in all, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself right now.
I'm still trying to balance it with everything I do in a week (every other week I work 12 hour work days 3 days a week!), but I'm sure I'll find that balance soon.
I'm also striving to make healthier decisions when eating, especially when eating out.

But Jesus, Lord Almighty, I'm gonna need some help when passing by Red Robin. Oh my stars.

This Week:

 A lot has happened in the past week!

1. My brother got married! Trevor and Amber have been together since they were in 8th grade (cue the "aww's") and they have been engaged since February '12. About a month ago, they decided they'd like to get married on their dating anniversary (June 6), so this whole "let's get married" thing was no real surprise to us. The surprise was that the night before the ceremony, they had no venue, no real concept of what they were doing, and had just secured a minister that day! It's so funny, though, because this totally represents them as a couple. They aren't the kind to make a lot of advance plans, and they just kinda do what they want to do. The fact that they were sitting at my parents brainstorming different places to get married the very next day totally makes sense. If only I were that free spirited... ;)

2. Breigh is home from the hospital, and not only that, she's up and going like an almost normal gal! I mean, she'll be out of real commission for a couple of months (also considering that she can't drive for the next 6 months), but we are so grateful for the improvements she's made since the seizures started. So happy!

3. Blake and I have been thrifting every so often for little decor items to put on the tables for our wedding. On a recent trip we decided to dig through the movies and cassette tapes, and I found Les Miserables on tape! And not only that, but it was the original London cast recording (Patti LuPone! Eee! I'm such a nerd...). I was so excited to listen to it that I took the long way home just to listen to it longer! It never fails, every time I listen to the music, I always want to go straight home and watch the movie.

4. Last night was the #tremma wedding! I'm so incredibly happy for Emma & Trey. I don't think I've ever been to a cooler wedding. I mean, really, they provided lemonades (and beer!) to drink during the ceremony, which was located out on a pond at their grandmother's cabin. The reception was full of yummy cocktails, amazing appetizers (holy, shrimp cocktails!), and the most amazing ice cream bar. Emma looked absolutely incredible in her dress (which was handmade!). I'd seen photos of her in it that morning on Instagram, but it was seriously nothing compared to seeing her in person!
I'm incredibly fortunate to work for both Emma & Elsie. They are truly inspiring ladies and I'm so honored that they have both allowed me (and Blake!) to be part of their special days! It makes me look forward to sharing mine with them!

How has your week been? I can't believe the weekend is already over (insert sadface here)!
xo Haley

Someone to vary my days

"Don't be afraid that it won't be perfect. The only thing to be afraid of is that it won't be." 

Someone to need you too much
Someone to know you too well
Someone to pull you up short, and put you through hell. 

Someone you have to let in
Someone whose feelings you spare
Someone who like it or not will want you to share 
a little, a lot. 

Someone to crowd you with love
Someone to force you to care
Someone to make you come through
Who'll always be there, as frightened as you
of being alive. 

Somebody, hold me too close
Somebody, hurt me too deep
Somebody, sit in my chair and ruin my sleep
and make me aware of being alive.

Somebody, need me too much
Somebody, know me too well
Somebody, pull me up short and put me through hell and give me support
for being alive. 
Make me alive. 




I'm feeling rather sentimental tonight, as my biggest little brother got married to his girlfriend of six years... I am overwhelmed with happiness for them. God has blessed my family way more than we could ever deserve.
The song lyrics from one of my very favorite musicals, Company. Here is an incredible performance of the song, if you have the time to give it a listen. Photo is from a friend's wedding last summer!

Because I'm no good at sticking to my goals.

Let's be real, I don't stick with things. I never have and if we're being completely honest, I probably never really will.

I have a hard time finishing books (I have a million next to my bed just begging to be finished).
I bought a super nice (read: expensive) journal to use during our 17-month engagement to document everything. We are now 14 months in, and I have only filled 10 pages.
I quit piano lessons after 5 years because I thought I'd start playing soccer. This isn't even a case of starting something and not sticking with it. I never even joined the soccer team! Truth be told, once I found out you have to run, like, 3 miles every day at practice, I said "oh, heck to the no."

So this is the problem I face every time I'm like, "Oh yeah, I'm gonna get FIT." Last time I said that, I went out and bought all new workout clothes, a new pair of running shoes (holy expensive, y'all), and a shiny, brand new gym membership.
Now, I wear the workout clothes like they're going out of style, and the running shoes have gotten me through two 5k's in the past two months. But the gym membership? Yeah, pretty sure I've only used that sucker twice.

I don't know what it is. Is it because I'm lazy? Is it because I'm tired more often than the average person my age? Is it because I just really don't like running on a treadmill when there's ten other people around me? I don't know, but I've really got to fix this little issue I'm running into (or, rather, slowly walking into. Because I'm definitely not running anywhere).

Tonight, while at my parents, I weighed myself.
It was one of those times where I literally held my breath while it was registering the pounds and when I looked down, I laughed and said out loud: "uh, no, let's try that again..."
So I stepped off, waited for a second, then got back on.

Same number.

I drove home in tears thinking, "how did I let this happen?"
To be clear with this, though, I am tall-ish. I'm close to 5'9" and for my height, my weight is considered healthy. But to me? I don't feel comfortable at this weight. And tonight I made a conscious decision to actually do something about it. If I have to force myself to get up earlier to go use the gym, then so be it. If I have to do legitimate grocery shopping just so I have a reason to cook at home more often, than by all means, I'll do it. But whatever unhealthy habits I've formed since moving out of my parents house? Yeah, those have got to go. At first it was kind of just a running joke that I needed to get in shape for the wedding and now it's more than that. It's about me feeling comfortable in my own skin, and about feeling and being healthy.

So, here we are. I'm putting this out there in an effort to gain accountability in some form.
And I'm also on Pinterest in the "health and fitness" section, and let me tell you - it's an embarrassing thing to admit. Ha!

Thanks for listening to such a pointless post. It really does help to write it all out.
- Haley

Jodi Arias & Jesus.

A lot happens on Facebook. You see lots of pictures of people's grandkids, you see the end of relationships, and if your newsfeed is anything like mine, you see a lot (and I mean a lot) of political commentary.

Of course, the most popular thing to have an opinion about right now is the Jodi Arias trial. I don't see a lot of comments about this from the people I am friends with, but when I click on shared photos or a sponsored status pops up, of course I read the comments (who doesn't, right?!).
One linked article (via MSN) was regarding the fact that Arias may be able to take a deal that would bypass a new trial/jury in favor of life in prison without any chance of parole. It then asked the question: Is this a just outcome?

Some said yes, some just want Arias out of the news, and then I saw a ton of responses that shocked me.
In big, bold all-capped letters, the answer to MSN's question was this:

"CRUCIFY HER."

This just... I don't know. Doesn't sit well with me? Rubs me the wrong way? I don't know, I'm struggling to find the words that describe how I feel about those two words.

I think what I found most shocking was the fact that it wasn't an isolated comment - there were many, many just like it. Some quietly called for the death penalty, while others loudly exclaimed that she deserved a public death. Some suggested lethal injection, others suggested a very public execution by firing squad.

There is something about this that absolutely disgusts me. Sure, you can give out the reasoning "an eye for an eye," or "you take a life, you pay for it with your own," which is always the answer I get from people when they learn that I am not a fan of the death penalty in any circumstance (that's another blog post for another day, though).

Nowadays, trials are made into complete circuses and are media frenzies. Days, sometimes weeks, are spent covering every little aspect of a trial. Public opinion comes from the amount of attention the media puts on murder cases, and this is exactly why we have comments like all-caps-crucify-her.

But with all of the comments saying that the government should all-caps-crucify-her, I am reminded of the death of Jesus.

If Jesus were alive now, and his trial were in today's society? He'd be Jodi Arias. He'd be Casey Anthony. He'd be an absolute media sensation. His trial would be televised, with every media outlet doing complete coverage 24/7. He'd be a person who is innocent until proven guilty, but the public just KNOWS that person is guilty. A person the public just KNOWS deserves death in the most public, slow, painful way.

That's exactly the way Jesus died for us, too. He died in a public place, in front of hundreds. His death took hours to be complete.
And this death? It was exactly what the public wanted.
Imagine if that took place today. Would those people who are crying out for Arias to get the death penalty feel satisfied with themselves when it was over and done with? Would they feel accomplished? Or would they feel that they were victims of peer pressure (their peers being the media influence).
Just as those who want the death penalty for Jodi Arias & feel that she deserves it, those who called for the crucifixion of Jesus felt that they were right, that Jesus deserved death for His 'crimes.'

I'll admit, I haven't kept up with the trial, just watching bits and pieces, but I do know the details. Do I think she's guilty? Yes. Do I think she deserves death? No, I don't. And I know that's an unpopular opinion to have.

But at some point, Christians have to stand up and stop making these judgements and commenting on Facebook statuses saying that Jodi Arias "needs to fry." I read once that Christians are fundamentally "pro-life." That is, until the baby is born, for most. We need to be pro-life from conception until death. We need to protect all human life, not just the unborn.

Jesus died so we could have life, and Jodi Arias took a man's life - I'm in no way saying that Jodi Arias is God and free of guilt and sin. That's definitely not what I'm saying.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I am sad for what the vast majority of Christianity has become. Christians are all over Facebook making unjust comments and calling for the death of a fellow human being. When should we, as Christians, ever want another person to die? When should we, as Christians, and as humans, take joy in the death of a person? I find this sickening.

I don't know why I feel so passionately about this, but for some strange reason... I really, really care about this topic. 

Currently.

(It's been a while since I've done one of these, so I thought it would be fun!)

Drinking: Blood Orange San Pellegrino. My weakness.

Listening to: The "Porcupine Puffer" episode of Octonauts. Octonauts is all the rage in this household right now. We love any and all Disney Jr. shows over here, but that is the only show they'll watch right now. At least it's educational?

Thinking about: Getting all of the addresses together in one, organized document for our wedding invites. I've started on it, but I keep putting it away because it stresses me out. I am the worst at this wedding stuff.

Talking to: Blake (texting, duh). He got his tax refund today and I am trying to convince him to put it towards a good new pair of Hunter rain boots for me... ;)

Obsessing over: Okay, this sounds awful. But Netflix added new episodes of Bridezillas online. And... every night before bed, I watch 2 episodes. I just really love that show. I can't help it.

Wishing for: more coffee, more sleep, and more free time. But it looks like the only thing happening for me anytime soon is the coffee.

(Breigh is doing okay! Well, as okay as she can be after having brain surgery and multiple seizures. She's at the hospital still, and will be for the next few days, just to keep a watch on her and make sure the seizures are under control. The seizures really came out of nowhere, since they definitely didn't happen last time she had surgery (in December). I got to visit her yesterday, and she is such a trooper. Oh, and the ChickFilA cow came to visit her, too!)